'Tis the Season

In honor of Wedding Season and the fact that I'm going to two weddings in the next month, I made a picture of what I would do if I were engaged.

But I guess everyone craves the finer things in life. Take Daisy for example: she gets a beautiful proposal in song from Johnny and gives this reply:

Johnny, Johnny, Here is your answer due,
You're half crazy to think I would marry you.
There won't be any marriage if you can't afford a carriage,
and I'll be damned if I'll be crammed on a bicycle built for two.

This just goes to show how obsessed we are with diamond solitaires and fancy cars...even our fictional characters in song won't marry someone who can't provide the best. It is further illustrated by the most eloquent of lyricists, Jay-Z:

Can I hit it in the morning
without giving you half of my dough
and even worse if I was broke would you want me?
If I couldn't get you finer things
like all them diamond rings that bitches kill for,
would you still roll?

So I guess what I'm saying is, no matter how we like to romanticize about love and the joining of hands and hearts, we should just give up the illusion and say what needs to be said: going once... going twice... MARRIED! To the highest bidder!

Seriously.

This seriously happened to me last Friday. Because I'm that good...


I had driven all week and then on the day when severe thunderstorms, floods, and tornadoes are all in the forecast, I decide to walk my ass to work. Awesome.

Camp!

My dog now goes to camp once or twice a week for my own sanity. This way I don't feel the need to throttle her every day, just every other day. The best part of this whole arrangement is that I can watch her on a webcam from work. This is an accurate depiction of what I see all day: